MEMO

TO: MS. MOODY

FROM: SETH ROJHANI

DATE: SEPTEMBER 15, 2009

I have gotten some good feedback on how to improve my memoir. The first thing I plan to do is to add some dialogue into my memoir. Right now I do not have any dialogue. Another thing I will try to improve is to describe the classroom I was in at the time to give the reader more of an idea of what it was like and how it changed after the shootings at Columbine High School. I also plan on going into more detail about how everyone became scared and worried. I will also try to expand on my ideas and details of the shooting in order to be more descriptive. I will also try to how after the shooting, schools around the country added more security and became more cautious and careful with what is happening in their schools. I will also try to improve the imagery of the places I was in at the time in order to make it more descriptive and create a vivid image for the reader. I plan on showing how I felt at the time and what I was thinking throughout the entire day when the shootings were happening. I also tend to be redundant when I write so I will also try to eliminate words, phrases, and sentences that are redundant. I am going to try to make the beginning of my memoir more suspenseful to get the reader more intrigued and interested in reading the rest of my memoir. I am not very good at endings, so I will improve my ending in order to make it more meaningful for me and the reader. Overall, I think the advice I received to improve my memoir was very helpful to me and I plan on improving all of these things in order to make my memoir perfect.